I. Dentify. Me.

The idea that by creating an ‘’other’’ we identify ourselves is an idea that is slowly starting to ring true here for me in Barcelona. By experiencing others’ norms, from their food to their sleep schedule, I’m starting to create my own more complex identity here than ever before. It’s as if to say, I may not be sure what I am but I can analyze myself by what I am not. Here there are things that I could easily see myself adapting to, changing my identity in a way, such as being in an urban area where there are various cultures all around with a variety of foods and recreation. On the other hand, there are things I just can't identify with and therefore become my ''otherings'' like the lack of maple syrup and the SUPER late nights characteristic of Spaniards. 

Barbecque mutton, farming, campfires, and even store closing hours before 8p are factors of my culture that would have to be explained to anyone coming to my hometown. At home, by simply mispronouncing Louisville as ''Louis-ville'' one can be singled out as a foreigner. Here all I have to do is pronounce the second s on ''estas'' and they instantly clarify any lingering doubts, that I'm obviously not a native speaker. Everything about one's culture from the names of places and things, to the condiments they choose to flavor their meat with forms an identity. My identity, I'm slowly second guessing, and constantly regenerating as I learn how I can change, how I'm different, and truly by discovering my own truths about myself by juxtaposing it with a differing identity.

After a month of being here, it is just now dawning on me that by walking into a restaurant and speaking to my friends in English, I am singled out- I am the ''different'' one- not the cashier or other customers speaking Spanish and/or Catalan. Upon arriving here, I was locked out of my apartment and wasn't able to contact anyone in my program. I was lost in a strange city in a strange country, but the most bewildering factor was when I walked into a cafe asking for help and the lady said to me, '' nobody will help you because nobody understands you''. Growing up in a small town in Kentucky and going to college in rural South Carolina, I have never experienced feeling like such a minority and outsider. It seems like such a small happening but for me, it was life changing to understand what it's like to not be the ''norm'' and truly made me second guess all of my ''norms'' and my normative culture.